On whom does happiness depend?
Many times we consider that others bring us happiness and the keys to be happy and that is not always the case.
In a counseling session people say they do not feel well because “her husband does not pay attention to her, her boss does not approve or her son does not like her.” Happiness depends on oneself, but being so attentive to what others give us makes us dependent. You have to cut these dependencies to learn the key things to be happy.
It is true that the people around us will affect us to a greater or lesser degree, but it only depends on you letting your attitude affect you in one way or another.
What to do to be happy in difficult situations?
One of the keys to be happy in complicated situations is to focus on the good things that are in your environment. I know it is difficult when you live really bad moments, but you should focus on the positive things as this will help you to be happier.
A lady explained that she had to move to the home of her husband’s parents and siblings. She was very uncomfortable there, she did not feel well because they were always surrounded by relatives and she did not have space for herself. But it was impossible for them to move because her husband had a job there and she did not. This situation increasingly overwhelmed her and prevented her from being happy with herself.
The first thing you have to do when you are living moments that you do not like is to ask yourself what can I do to be happy? Think that everything is transitory in life. Focus on the things you have to change and appreciate everything that surrounds you. Yes, I know it sounds difficult, but like everything in life, it requires some understanding and even training. In this case I would have advised her to be grateful for the good treatment she received from her husband’s family. She also had to focus on getting a job as this would give her the space she needed and eventually go home. You have to be grateful with what you have and focus on achieving your goals! Remember that being happy does not cost anything!
How to be happy with my partner?
Many times enjoying life and being comfortable with it is linked to having a partner by your side. But that is not always the case. How many times have you felt alone being with your husband or wife? The key to being happy as a couple is to be comfortable with yourself first. The more joy you feel, the happier and more confident you are, the more good moments you can give to your partner and enjoy the relationship.
If you notice that you do not feel as full as you should, make a letter to yourself explaining how your life is, how you feel, what you have to do to be happy, what worries you … this will make you aware of the situation in which you are and the needs and needs that you have right now. You can ask people you trust how they see you, how they see the situation in which you live. This may be hard since they will show you a reality check that may be different from the one you are living. The important thing is that you become aware of your situation and what you have to change.
“Think: I need to be happy with myself to be happy with my partner”
Keys to be happy and share this happiness correctly:
1. Your happiness and good humor only depends on you, do not let yourself be contaminated by others.
This is the most important point you have to be clear in your life about, your happiness depends on you. Stop complaining about how difficult our lives are because of others and observe all those situations where your energy diminishes and your happiness gradually becomes cloudy until you feel stressed or nervous. Observe these situations and do not let the nerves of others turn towards you.
2. Do not take everything they tell you in a personal way, dismiss it or clarify the situation
People say and do things many times without thinking about how others are going to take it, without taking into account the consequences of our words. This is the main reason why you cannot take personally everything they say about you. Remember that many things are not said with bad intention and, even if it were, the important thing is to have confidence with oneself. If a comment has made you feel bad, clarify the situation no matter how hard it may be to say how you feel.
3. Set a daily goal of those things that make you feel good, keep it and spread it to others, share joy.
Setting goals is the key to feeling good once they are fulfilled. Goals help you organize and focus all your energy on what you want. Make others respect your goals even if they do not share them. Spread your enthusiasm and feel good about everything you do. Set concrete and possible goals for your achievements to increase your self-esteem and confidence.
4. Put humor in situations to break the ice
Humor and laughter are the best keys to be happy. Laughter helps to relax the attitude of people and fill the environments with positivity. If you have problems at some point, humor can be a solution to make life easier for you.
5. Try to do things for yourself without leaning too much on others
Doing things for oneself makes us feel self-sufficient and feel fulfilled. On many occasions, support in all those around us can be useful. However, when we achieve something with our effort, creativity or ingenuity our mind translates this victory as something more important to us, increasing our security, our confidence and our attitudes to be happier. Leaning on others makes our happiness depend on them and their favors.
6. Decide to raise a smile on others
Make your happiness not depend on others, but have a kind of happiness that makes the people around you smile. That your way of being not only makes you happy but also the people you love makes your happiness even greater. This last point is the one of the most important keys to be happy.
Here’s a challenge to apply the keys to be happy:
I challenge you to set a goal that you can meet during the coming week, a simple and possible goal.
Choose a person who has had a conflict with you, be it your boss, your partner or your son or daughter. It has to be an important person for you and that your happiness can affect yours.
The challenge is that you make this person smile and that you can transmit the happiness that you have in your life. Observe their reaction and see for yourself how the smile, the humor and the goodwill is the key to achieve a complete happiness. Observe how we can be happy without the need for others to be happy and how we have the ability to make others happy with very little effort.
This challenge will not only help you strengthen your self-esteem, it will help you to know how people’s attitude influences people, and most importantly, you will see how you can influence others. Happiness can be contagious!
Very little is needed to make a happy life:
It is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.
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