Behind The Smile: Overcoming The Agony Of Mental Trauma

I’m intelligent and witty.
I’m not Bipolar.
I have a positive outlook on life even if I have some really down days.
I’m not Bipolar.
I can actually be pretty funny.
I’m not Bipolar.
I’m good looking.
I’m not Bipolar.
I’m an amazing mother.
I’m not Bipolar.
I’m a great friend, partner, sister, daughter and aunty.
I’m not Bipolar.
I am me.
I’m not Bipolar.

So although I have this label that I don’t really like I try not to focus on it. I focus on all the other things that make me me. I take my meds and get on with it. I try to see the positive in everything. My outlook on life has done a 180. I used to have this self destructive victim mentality. Now I have an optimist approach to life. Don’t get me wrong though as I still have Bipolar and definitely have days that are really hard. Some days I have anxiety attacks. Other days I just don’t really feel like talking to anyone. But amongst all this I’ve decided Bipolar doesn’t define me. It doesn’t make me a freak. It’s just something I’ve been dealt and I’ve learnt to be ok with that. So much so that I’m now sharing this. Most of my family and friends don’t even know I have this. This will probably even surprise some of them.

I used to be so ashamed because of the stigma behind Mental Health that I didn’t want anybody to know. But not anymore. There needs to be more awareness so this is my part in spreading it. Mental Illness doesn’t define a person. But you still need to be aware it’s there. It’s a struggle and if you think those with it can just suck it up and learn to be happy. They can’t. It doesn’t work like that. So please share my story as awareness is key in removing the stigma and being more open about the struggles that some people face. Make a note to yourself as well that you truly don’t know someone and there struggles unless they are open about it. By sharing my story it will hopefully bring more awareness which will mean more people will feel they can open up. Also try to be more understanding when they do because if we can all do this it just might save a life.

If your interested here is a link to a short film I made a couple of years ago about my life. Feel free to check it out:

Recently since becoming a mother I started up my own personal blog on Facebook called ‘Muddled Up Mummy.’ I did this so I could help others by sharing daily inspiration, some humour and also a bit of the good, the bad and the totally muddled up world of parenting. I also shares bits of my journey along the way so feel free to check it out: Muddled Up Mommy