Relationships are built on a variety of factors that have been agreed upon by two or more people. They are born out of a need for a person to feel loved, appreciated, and to reduce loneliness.
Therefore, in most instances, the parties to the relationship consider it vital to act in a manner that pleases or is considerate of their partners, which creates a bond between them.
However, once this bond is broken or damaged, the relationship begins to experience problems and often results in difficult and even unnecessary breakups.
Therefore, in this article, the focus will be made on highlighting three main causes of broken relationships.
Causes of broken relationships
Trust
This is one of the main causality for a thriving relationship since the partners often rely on each other not only to accomplish tasks and enjoy each others’ company but also to share sensitive information.
But once this trust is broken, people often feel insecure being with the other partner since they consider them as being alienated to their needs, feelings, and sense of existence.
In some instances, despite the trust being broken, partners may choose to stay together simply because they are used to each other, though such an arrangement is strained and eventually results in a gradual build-up of resentment which by that point, inevitably leading to a breakup.
Poor communication
Communication is key for any two parties to understand each other, share information, and discuss issues.
Once one or both partners begin making assumptions, as well as making significant decisions without explanations to their partners, it shows a bit of disrespect and not being considerate, eventually leading to heated arguments in the relationship.
For instance, if one sees odd behavior in their partner that stands out of the ordinary between them, and instead of communicating, decides to keep quiet, it slowly grows in magnitude, suspicions are created, and feelings could be hurt.
Once this happens, people tend to act out, start creating stories in their minds, gradually building up insecurity, resentment, and anger. This often leads to verbal and even physical abuse.
This scenario can be avoided by ensuring that partners communicate with each other not only on positive attributes or issues but also on the negative and irritating issues or problems being exhibited between them.
The emergence and growth of cell phone technology have also served as a double-edged sword. On one end, you are able to connect and communicate with others, but on another end, you start to pay more attention to the cell phone or mobile device rather than communicating face to face, making that much needed human connection.
One must be diligent when utilizing such devices, and remember that despite our technology, there is no replacement for face to face human interaction.
Outside influence
This is where partners choose to listen to views from outsiders regarding their relationship. In most cases, this intervention is usually negative and causes disquiet and mistrust between partners.
Additionally, if the partners have low self-esteem, they could trust the negative views of others regarding their partner or relationship.
For instance, if a spouse has a job that requires them to travel to far-flung areas constantly, outsiders may insinuate that they are unfaithful to the relationship.
Such allegations are often misguided and are considered a causality for broken relationships.
Keys to improving the relationship
With couple therapy, relationships can be improved. Here are some things that could help:
Listen and do not block when the other person speaks. What he has to say is his opinion and is as valid as yours because it reflects what that person feels at that moment.
Observe what hurts you: you need to look at what is the common denominator at the beginning of a couple’s conflict. Once the problem is located, it will be easier to find a solution.
Show your honesty and be sincere. You should not hide what you feel in the relationship or what you think just because you fear the other does not think the same thing or feel the same way.
Express your feelings from an empathic-listening and acceptance standpoint.
Assume that in the relationship, communication is normal, in which this is where differences of opinion are revealed. This discussion is a meeting point. A relationship is the union of two personalities who will never be 100% equal.
If, after these keys, you feel that nothing has changed, it may be time to think about asking for help from a psychologist to start a couple therapy. There are many psychologists available in most areas that will help you create a space of interaction, observation to configure a healthy and functional change in the relationship. Sometimes a professional intermediary is needed to facilitate productive communication between couples.
How to handle the conflict with therapy
This part of the couple’s therapy is to help you understand how you work and how to modify it to create a more psychologically healthy space in which the couple can develop emotionally.
Intimacy, affection, sexuality, communication are components that emerge in the relationship. In couples therapy, psychologists exercise constructive and reflexive mediation. They seek to create a new space between the two, to foster new experiences with criteria of inclusiveness, that is, in which both parties can feel that they are both active members of the relationship so that it can be reorganized.
