Old habits really die hard because once they become part of your life, they are difficult to break. The same is true when trying to cultivate positive relationships, you need to practice positive habits so your relationship will also have a positive foundation.
If your relationship was built on negative habits you cannot expect it to yield positive results.
It takes time before you develop a habit. These habits must be worked on together by two people. It will not work if only one person is making an effort.
Many of these habits are adopted and regularly practiced by many happy couples successfully, often leading to a more positive relationship in general.
According to Mark Goulston, author of the book “How to get and keep the love you deserve,” there are some habits that “guarantee” or at least work the right way for a couple to be happy, and you can do the same.
1. Go to bed at the same time
This may seem silly, but it is very important when couples live and start a life together it is vital that they go to bed together.
This is an intimate and sacred space in any couple and the habit of going to bed together is fundamental not only to maintain the love but to maintain closeness in the couple.
At first, it may seem like something very normal, but over time many couples forget it and drift away slowly, take this space as a moment to tell your partner how much you love him or her and wish him/her good night.
2. Trust and forgive
Arguments are normal, but to be happy as a couple you have to know how to manage conflicts that arise properly and believe us when we tell you that when you start with your partner conflicts can increase.
If there is mutual trust and forgiveness is offered without grudges it is much easier to manage these conflicts and keep the relationship alive and healthy
Trust that your partner will do his/her part and if he/she does not, try to tell him/her what you think in the smoothest way possible.
3. Walk together hand in hand
It is a simple and common gesture at the beginning of a relationship, but over time it is lost.
Have you noticed how tender it is to see two elderly people walking by the hand?
We must not let one or the other fall behind because if it is allowed, the sense of the company is lost.
Walk hand in hand not only in a literal sense, but in every sense, walk hand in hand in moments of:
Accompany your partner in their dreams and help them to fulfill them.
4. Focus on the positive
Many times we tend to be negative and when the time passes we focus only on the things that bother us instead of the ones we like.
Let’s change the way we see things, not only with our partner but with life itself.
Focusing on the other’s positive qualities instead of their defects is the key to staying in-love. Nobody is perfect, but, as Goulston says, “everything depends on what you want to look for”.
Many times even what could be seen as a “defect” you can see positively in your partner and see how it helps not only in your life as a couple but also in your own endeavor.
5. Hug each other more
Nothing more beautiful than starting the day with a hug and arriving from a difficult day at work and having your partner welcome you with a hug.
Hugs are one of the most comforting and soothing touches we can give to our partner.
When you are working and undertaking in parallel and in the process you do it with your partner, it is important to give yourself small spaces to comfort yourself and charge those batteries.
A study conducted by scientists at Duke University in the United States, says that we all need hugs and caresses since birth. Its benefits are not only emotional and psychological but also physical.
There are several investigations that conclude that hugs support the reduction and prevention of some diseases. For example, the University of North Carolina states that, when we embrace other people, oxytocin, or better known as love hormone, increases and improves the health of our heart and cardiovascular system.
6. Wish nice things, and say I love you
This is one of the main habits to be happy with your partner that you must cultivate.
It is one of the most important and directly influences how it will go in the day. We can not start the day without first having wished us good morning and it is an excellent day.
Saying “have a good day”, every morning is an encouragement to start the day well. In addition, it helps to iron out any roughness that has arisen or tension in the relationship.
Telling your partner “I love you” frequently also helps to maintain your healthy relationship, with this we do not tell you to stop like a parrot saying “I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you” every 5 minutes but you do express yourself more and that when wishing cute things to your partner nice things happen.
7. Say goodnight
We return to the habit to be happy with your partner that has to do with bedtime, how important to end your day wishing sweet dreams.
With this simple gesture, the couple reaffirms their relationship every night, despite the difficulties and emotional ups and downs of the day.
Goulston says that “this tells your partner that you still want to be in the relationship. He says that what they both have is bigger than any unpleasant conflict. ”
8. Call or send a message throughout the day
It is a small gesture that implies something very important: that you care about the other.
It is a routine call to know if everything is going well, or maybe just a message, but it allows us to stay connected and know in advance how our partner is going to be when we meet her at the end of the day.
9. Tell your partner that you are proud of him/her and laugh together
Telling your partner that you are proud of him/her is an injection of motivation to continue moving forward in a positive way together.
And laugh, laugh a lot as there is nothing better than laughter for the soul and the heart, and if you do not have what to laugh about, something that makes people laugh can be as simple as sitting and watching a Netflix comedy show together.
Look for some activity that will entertain them and help them to clear their mind of the business, work, job life; they have because more than co-workers your partner is your life partner and that is something to celebrate.
10. Being respectful to each other
Respect is one of the most important habits of positive relationships because it builds trust and shows acceptance. Showing disrespect towards your partner slowly weakens trust and creates barriers in your connection with each other.
Disagreements often lead to arguments, and arguments often lead to insults. Make sure to watch your tongue and think before allowing something to come out that could lead to negative consequences.
11. Eliminating distractions when you are with your partner
Between work and other obligations, we don’t have enough time with each other as it is. Continuing to allow distractions to interrupt your time alone is damaging to your relationship and affects intimacy with your partner. Preoccupation with work is one of the biggest distractions, often arising when couples are trying to get closer.
There are some simple things you can do: turn off the T.V. when having dinner, leave your phones off when spending time alone, and make sure that your work is completed before heading home.
12. Responding to each other
Are you ready for an eye-opening statistic? 86 percent of happily married couples respond to their partners bid for attention, while only 30 percent of unhappy couples do the same.
You can show your attention by doing very simple things: responding to your partner when they ask a question, or bringing something on your way home when asked. It’s really as simple as showing your attentiveness and responsiveness when something arises.
Giving respect to your partner is one of the positive habits that can strengthen your relationship, and the lack of it can also create chaos and misunderstanding.
Your relationship can also take a turn for the worse if there are too many distractions when you are with your partner. So again, pay special attention when together.
It is proven, making your partner feel good should be a main objective, no matter how you do it, do not let your current busy lifestyle cloud the relationship, but make an effort to empower them and help them grow together.
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