Think of the time when something didn’t work out in your life the way you wanted. How did you feel? Did you do all in your power to regain control, or accept the situation as it is? Many people are so consumed with things that they have no control over (e.g. past mistakes, divorce, loss of a parent, retrenchment etc.) that they fail to realize what’s most important – enjoying life in the present moment.
Besides leaving you frustrated, angry and powerless, focusing on the uncontrollable prevents you from having peace of mind and experiencing the beauty in the present moment. For this reason, you need to accept that things will not always go as you want, and even if they do, it can all be taken away in an instant.
So, make a conscious decision today to let go of what you cannot control however difficult or painful it is.
Here are 5 simple tips to help you do so.
Focus On the Positive Things In Your Life
When you don’t feel in control of what’s happening in your life, it’s easy to focus on how horrible things are. You’ll feel powerless and lose perspective on your abilities. Because you’re letting the situation consume your thoughts, you’ll find it difficult to look beyond the immediate problem.
However, you can choose to focus on what’s right in your life irrespective of what you’re going through. For instance, when you realize that you’re pregnant after being dumped by your boyfriend, accept that the relationship is over and be happy that you’ll be a mother soon. After all, not all women are able to bear children, so count your blessings.
Focusing on the positive will help you experience less stress, and enable you to think more clearly on how to resolve the problem more effectively.
Mindfulness allows you to experience life moment by moment. When you’re mindful, you can deal with your situation with a clear mind without being critical or judgmental of yourself, or the circumstance. You can practice mindfulness by paying attention to your thoughts, breath or senses.
Visualize Your Desired Outcome
Despite what’s taking place in your life right now, you can choose to visualize a successful outcome. Visualization will prevent you from feeling overwhelmed and give you the emotional and psychological support that you need to accept what you can’t change.
Keep Your Sense Of Humor
Instead of getting very angry and frustrated when things aren’t going your way, learn to look at things from a humorous perspective. I know it’s not easy, but it’s possible. Humor will not only lessen the tension and lighten-up your difficult situation but will also help you to release your desire to control.
Focus on The Things You Can Control
You may not be able to control what’s happening in your life right now, but you can control how you think about the problem and how to go about handling it. Instead of blaming yourself, focus on what you can do personally to make the situation better. This will help you move beyond the victim mentality and empower you to take action.
Learn to be open to what life throws at you. Control what you can, and let go of what you can’t. It will go along way in helping you find lasting peace and happiness.