The relationship we share with the people around us affects not only our mental state but also builds our emotional state.
The way we behave and the words we speak help people determine our mental opinion about them.
Everything that you say is interpreted consciously or subconsciously to form an opinion about you.
This opinion leads to a toxic relationship that causes you anxiety or a healthy and joyful relationship. So whether he is your friend or an enemy, your relationship with him/her is due to your opinion about him/her.
Therefore, good opinions build healthier relationships that last for ages, but negative opinions form unhealthy relationships that may or may not last for a significant period of time.
The relationship that you share with the people around you has a big impact in your life, and will often determine what you will become and where you will be in your future.
If you have some good friends who are good in taking action when they want to reach a goal and you build a close relationship with them, you will almost automatically learn their qualities due to constant exposure to their circle.
Eventually, you will also learn all the information and ins in outs of how they think, and anything from their experience will benefit you eventually ending up having similar qualities like them.
Therefore select the relationships that you make you a better person every day and maintain them for as long as possible.
The best relationships are rooted in friendship
Your happiness and mental state is also affected by your relationships with people. When you spend time with people whom you like, you become happy.
Their presence around you affects your mental state and elevates your mood. Similarly, if you remain around people whom you dislike, you will definitely be in a negative mood.
Therefore, always try to understand the reason behind why you hate a particular person and try to develop a positive relationship with him or her.
Eventually you will find that you can be with anyone anywhere regardless of preferences because your opinion about everyone is the same.
Here are 7 steps to gain new healthy relationships
Here are some good ways to make and create new and healthy friendships without it being too uncomfortable as an adult.
1. Reconnect or deepen more, with your existing friendships
Most likely, you have some friends with whom you used to go watch a movie with or used to be closer, who still live in the same city. Reactivate these friendships by contacting some of them. Call them and tell them you miss them. Ask them to hang out and go for a walk or to eat. Do whatever they used to do together, and let the relationship flourish again.
Obviously it’s recommended to do this only if you really enjoy their company, and not just by having some kind of social connection. If think those old friends used to drag you into a depressed state and cause you anxiety, then there is no shame in allowing your relationships to stay as they are and look elsewhere for new social ties.
Want to read later? Download PDF version of this article:
A PDF version of this post will be generated for you to read later.
2. Fill your game life
One of the fastest ways to learn to make friends as an adult is to make a conscious decision to fill your life with more fun. The more you prioritize recreation and fun moments in your life, the happier you will be, the more opportunities you will have to meet new people and the more attractive you will be as a friend to the people you meet when you begin to meet them.
As a quick example, let’s say you find fun in chess, badminton, dance and painting. Now, imagine that you join a chess group, a dance workshop and start attending a weekly art night. Would it be safe to think that the number of opportunities to meet new friends will increase significantly? Of course.
Does it take courage to leave your comfort zone to leave home and do these fun things? Again yes. But you will have fun on the road. The worst case scenario is to go out, have a lot of fun and don’t know anyone you can really connect with.
The best scenario is that you take advantage of a moment of fun and meet several people who will become friends for your whole life, even if you feel uncomfortable at first with new people.
3. Be interested in others
When you start meeting new potential friends, make sure you are showing interest in them. Everyone has the need to want to feel seen and heard. But if you direct your interactions only to other people showing an interest in you, you will have more difficulty making friends.
To show interest, you should not only be interested but also be vulnerable. So start by asking people about themselves. Learn what your world is like. Discover what they are passionate about. Focus on your fears, joys and worries.
And then answer them with your honest opinion. Tell them what you care about. Allow yourself to be who you are, without masks. This is what unites people to build lasting bases of friendship.
4. When you find someone you like, let them know your intentions directly
When you find a person with whom you feel a connection, let them know your intentions directly. Human beings are not able to read the mind. And openness is an attractive character trait. Do you see anything in them that you like? Identify it Do you appreciate something about someone? Indicate it directly. Do you want to be friends with this person? Tell them this.
It can be as literal and unfiltered as how to tell someone, “I really enjoyed this conversation. You call my attention and I find you really interesting. I am currently looking for some new friends in my life and I would like you to be one of them. Do you want to have lunch later this week? I invite.”
There is a possibility that they may be flattered by the gesture and take the floor. And if they don’t, it’s fine too. There are many people to meet to be your friends. There is no need to force these things. The right people will start to show up in your life when you are aligned with them and be honest with yourself.
5. Join a group
This is related to the intention of filling your life with fun. If all the things that tend to fill your time are activities that isolate you excessively, then it will be good to make a joint effort to join a few social groups. Book clubs, sports clubs, cooking classes, amateur clubs. There are many options.
Check out your local community center, bulletin boards, or even on social media and find some things that interest you, and then put them on your calendar and make them non-negotiable. Remember that your health and longevity depend on it.
6. Start your own group
If you’ve been researching for weeks and you can’t get anything that appeals to you, then it may be the time that you to start your own group. Start your own reading club or special interest group. Start your own Ultimate Frisbee team. Organize your own weekly group of fans. Start it
Let people find out (again, through your local community center, nearby bulletin boards or MeetUp.com), and locate a place to connect with the type of people you want to meet, support
These tips will help you build healthy relationships with people from all walks of life regardless of their nature or behavior.
