There has to be change or you’ll never be totally happy. You need to discuss the boundaries of your relationship, be honest with how you feel and how your partner makes you feel.
If they aren’t willing to change then consider do they love you, and do you really love them? If they’re with you because you enable their addictions and negative behavior then do they really care?
Are you with them because you pity them? It’s important to consider these questions and if you do think you can genuinely and honestly be happy then fine, you can work on it but if not, it’s time to close the door on that part of your life.
To stop being so codependent, you need to think about your opinion of yourself. Many people who struggle with codependency also suffer from low self-esteem.
Think about the positive aspects of yourself. What are you good at? You need to reinforce this positivity and accept that you deserve happiness just as much as your partner, family or friends. You need to put time aside for your own hobbies and things you like, do things you enjoy.
If you’re in a relationship, don’t allow their alcoholism, their anger, suggest therapy if it’s seriously impacting on your lives. Take time to pamper yourself and look after yourself. Pursue your dreams, your career and studies, and most important of all, look after yourself.
Photo credit: Francisco Osorio