How to stop making excuses for others
Each time we have an established force of habit, in order to stop it, we must build a new force of habit – of choosing to do something else instead. You see, we cannot stop circumstances from occurring – that’s what life is. However, what we can do – or have the power and ability to do – is make different choices.
We all want to believe in the goodness of people – it’s natural. We all want to give others the benefit of the doubt – it’s natural. But what we don’t want is for this belief and this giving the benefit of the doubt to turn into a habit of making excuses for the people in our lives. And if it already is a habit, then we want to shift our focus and build on a better feeling, healthier habit as soon as possible.
Change – or in this case, improvement – is difficult only because of our already established force of habit. Once we decide to be deliberate in building on a different force of habit however, even though we feel the resistance of our old habits, there is a feeling of empowerment that is natural to us, that we are familiar with, and that we start recognizing right away.
It’s so important to start being honest with ourselves and contemplate our choices and behaviors. We can’t avoid the reality of the consequences of overcompensating or making excuses for others have in our lives. The sooner we start acknowledging our reality, the sooner we can develop healthier, more positive, more fulfilling habits and relationships that ultimately lead to a happier life.
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It’s also important to understand that there is no need to blame ourselves for having found overcompensating or making excuses as a (temporary) solution. Doing this does provide immediate relief from an uncomfortable situation, so it’s only natural we would make this choice.
But there is always more improvement, and when we are ready, it’s time to take the next logical step and make even better choices.
What about you? Have you inadvertently developed a habit of overcompensating or making excuses for others? Are you ready to start building on a new, healthier, more empowering habit?
Photo credit: Mitya Ku via Visual Hunt / CC BY-SA
