What Is Happiness And Why Are You Not Happy?

As humans, we’re constantly striving for one thing: happiness. We chase it, we seek it, and we often feel like it’s just out of reach. But what if I told you that happiness isn’t something you find – it’s something you create?

According to a study by the University of California, Berkeley, only 33% of Americans report being happy. That’s a staggering statistic, especially considering that happiness is the ultimate goal for most of us. So, what’s going on? Why are so many of us struggling to find happiness?

The Misconception of Happiness

We often think of happiness as a destination – a place we’ll arrive at once we’ve achieved certain milestones or acquired certain things. We tell ourselves, “I’ll be happy when I get that promotion,” or “I’ll be happy when I meet the love of my life.” But the truth is, happiness isn’t something that can be bought or achieved; it’s a mindset.

Happiness is a choice. It’s a decision to focus on the good, to appreciate the little things, and to cultivate a sense of gratitude. It’s not about avoiding challenges or difficulties – it’s about learning to navigate them with a positive attitude.

The Obstacles to Happiness

So, why aren’t we happy? There are a few common obstacles that stand in our way:

1. Negative Self-Talk: We’re often our own worst enemies. We beat ourselves up over mistakes, criticize our appearance, and doubt our abilities. This negative self-talk can be a major happiness-killer.
2. Comparison: We compare our lives to others, feeling like we’re not good enough or successful enough. But comparison is a losing game – there will always be someone who seems more successful or happier than us.
3. Fear: We let fear hold us back from pursuing our dreams and trying new things. We’re afraid of failure, rejection, or looking silly.
4. Lack of Purpose: We feel unfulfilled and restless, like there’s something missing. This lack of purpose can make it difficult to find happiness.

Breaking Down the Barriers

So, how do we overcome these obstacles and find happiness? Here are a few strategies to get you started:

1. Practice Gratitude: Take time each day to reflect on the things you’re thankful for. It can be as simple as a good cup of coffee or a beautiful sunset.
2. Focus on the Present: Stop worrying about the future or dwelling on the past. Focus on the present moment and find joy in it.
3. Let Go of Comparison: Remember that everyone’s journey is unique, and comparison is a waste of time. Focus on your own growth and progress.
4. Take Action: Don’t let fear hold you back. Take small steps towards your goals and dreams, even if it feels scary.
5. Find Your Purpose: Explore your passions and values, and find ways to align them with your daily life.

Happiness isn’t something that happens to us – it’s something we create for ourselves. By breaking down the barriers that stand in our way and cultivating a positive mindset, we can find happiness and fulfillment.

Remember, happiness is a choice. It’s a decision to focus on the good, to appreciate the little things, and to cultivate gratitude. So, what’s holding you back? Make the choice to be happy today.

Action Step

Take a few minutes each day this week to reflect on the things you’re grateful for. Write them down in a journal or share them with a friend. As you focus on the good, you’ll start to notice a shift in your mindset – and happiness will start to feel within reach.

Happiness is having more money to pay stuff you need and being able to do stuff. Or is it?

For a long time I was stuck with the belief that money was the thing that brought one happiness. After all that stress for not making ends meet, struggling to pay bills, kids growing up needing more and more stuff, buying food, the list can go on and on.

So I continued on contemplating and experimenting different things and different ways on how to generate more money.I came up with a few ways that helped out, but the reality however, was…

…that these episodes where I was money “worry-free” were short-lived and suddenly I was back in the same boat. Then I realized something very important…

I realized that it wasn’t always money that created my happiness although it seemed like so. Part of the reason is because almost anytime I brought in more, I also spent more, so it was a never-ending loop.

Then I realized that I was spending enormous amounts of time trying all kinds of things only to bring again temporary “happiness” which was destined to fade away again, and while I was at it I was also wasting enormous amounts of time that I could have spent with my family, feeling regretful for many wonderful experiences I had missed.

With time and some spiritual development not tied to any religion nor specific system of beliefs I started to see the bigger picture. I realized that happiness wasn’t a specific thing, there wasn’t a single answer for all because what makes one person happy does not necessarily apply to another person and vice-versa.

Everyone has their own definition of happiness, some people have barely a place to live in, decent food and clothes and they are happier than someone who lives in a mansion with all the luxuries.

“What is this thing we call happiness then?” I asked myself. This is what I found happiness to be…

So what is happiness?

After much self-debate, to me happiness is that which brings me inner joy and a sense of peace, being at one with the all. Endless possibility of self-expression and expansion of self through a balance of experiences and doings. That which brings you joy and excitement.

To you, happiness may be your pet, financial freedom, your children, your job, spouse or a combination of them all.

This is because you can be the creator of your own experiences. You don’t have to let things simply happen to you! Because chances are you will end up in disappointment after disappointment. You have an immense potential and are more than capable to set things in motion following your inner guidance and taking action. This is what most people miss.

Happiness is you within, manifesting that which brings your own definition of happiness into fruition. Never forget that.

Photo source: Patrik Jones