How do you feel when someone bullies your child, harasses your friend or judges you harshly? Bad, right? If you said yes, then why do you let the voices in your head do the same things to you?
Why do you allow yourself to be your own bully? That is what many of us do when we criticize ourselves harshly for every perceived failure or mistake.
It is normal to sometimes wish to improve some aspects of our skills, attitude, personality or even looks. This healthy dose of self-criticism is helpful because it motivates us to become the best version of ourselves. However, when you constantly think of yourself as not good enough or worthless or a failure, it will slowly, but surely erode your self-esteem, confidence and peace of mind and impede your progress.
Perhaps you’re beating yourself up because you told a story that none of your friends thought was funny, or you arrived for lectures 2 hours late (and everyone laughed at you) because you weren’t aware of the of the changes in timing.
Whatever your reason is for being too hard on yourself, know that it’s not worth it. You’ll only get hurt in the end. So, instead of dwelling on your failures, why not learn from them and move on with your life. These practices can help you silence your inner bully and become the best version of yourself:
Focus More On Positive Self Talk
From now on, make a conscious decision to stop criticizing yourself whenever things do go as you expected. Instead, acknowledge your achievements and compliment yourself whenever you do something good, no matter how small it is. At the end of each day, try to write down at least five things that made you happy or things that you did well, and read (allowed if possible) them to yourself before going to sleep. When done consistently, this habit can help you be less critical and more accepting of yourself.
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