There is no absolute formula for success, but there is one thing that all successful people have in common and that is following their heart. It takes a brave person to succeed in life because no matter how you try to realize your dreams, there are challenges that deter you. However, being successful comes with a series of trials and it is solely up to you how you handle them.
When it comes to success, one size will not fit all. You need to find techniques that will really work for you. Otherwise, you will keep on following the crowd and lose your identity. You don’t have to please others for you to belong. You have to be unique and embrace who you really are. You need to realize that you cannot please everybody and there is no such thing as mistakes because there will always be room for improvements.
1. They refuse to let unsupportive people drag them down.
Abel James, Founder of award-winning podcast, Fat Burning Man, shared this tip with me: “Some of your friends, your family, certainly your co-workers, your ex-coworkers, and almost everybody on social media, will call you crazy and try to drag you down if you strive to stand out and do something different like I did. And even now, after I’ve been successful, a lot of people from my past are still like, ‘I don’t get it.’ Get used to the naysaying, and let the negative comments help you filter out the unsupportive people from the supportive ones. In the end, all you need is that tiny peer group that does understand.”
Don’t be afraid of the conflict that might arise in your own circle. When you start feeling like those who are supposed to support you are only trying to make it harder for you to succeed, don’t be discouraged: it’s only a signal that you’re not conforming to the limits that others have set for you.
Question: Who in your life drags you down and makes you lose focus on your dreams and goals?
Action Item: Make a list of the three people who support and encourage you.
2. They refuse to let others determine their path.
Edith Yeung, Founding Partner at RightVentures, told me, “My mom still asks me ‘Hey, when are you going to get a real job?’ I’m like ‘I’m working!’ Even after you achieve incredible feats, some people just won’t see it. This is why you can’t let others decide for you. You decide how you live your life, and as much as your loved ones love you, realize they don’t know it all – they don’t know exactly what path is right for YOU.”
You mustn’t be afraid to follow the pathways that perhaps only you can see at this point. They’ll catch up.
Question: Are you letting other people make all your decisions for you?
Action Item: Remove one roadblock currently distracting you from your goals. And if the roadblock is a person you love, just agree to disagree.
3. They refuse to be limited by faulty goal setting.
Brenton Hayden, Founder of Renters Warehouse, says, “Every goal you create needs to be a SMART goal. Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timely – SMART.”
You have to allow yourself to believe in your own ability: your capacity to create is only determined by your endurance and refusal to fall into the trap of poor planning. Set SMART goals that you can achieve and that keep you moving forward on a meaningful path.
Question: Do your goals fit the SMART formula?
Action Item: Pick one of your goals that do not meet the SMART goal formula and modify it so that it does.
4. They refuse to turn their past troubles into present excuses.
Aaron Pitman, Founder of API Domain Investments, states, “Historically, statistically, people who come from a great family with money and lots of things that are great, they don’t really push to succeed because they don’t feel like they have to. Sometimes when you come from troubled or rough times, you have a better chance at success. You just have to use your experiences to fuel your progress. You have to believe in something better.”
Any failure you might have experienced in the past isn’t relevant anymore. Whatever hardships or breakdowns that you were born from or bred into, only exist to bolster the perspectives that you aim for. Let your past be a symbol of what once was, not what is.
Question: What parts of your past have created limiting beliefs in your mind?
Action Item: Do something right now to help remove a limiting belief from your life. If it’s putting a positive affirmation on the mirror, taking a toxic friend out of your contacts, or deleting the Facebook app – just do something right now.
5. They refuse to stop dreaming and achieving, even in the face of failure.
Dan Martell, Founder of Clarity, has said, “After six years of trying and failing, and it not working, and people asking, ‘Well, what are you going to do now?’ it hurts. It’s hard when you’ve failed and everyone around you knows it and has something to say about it. And of course, then they start to doubt your present ideas too because they’ve seen you start other things that didn’t pan out. So, you know, that’s probably the hardest part – believing in yourself and your dreams even when it’s not working out at the moment.”
There’s a reason many people who set out to achieve end up unsuccessful, and it’s not because their goals were impossible to achieve. It’s due to the fact that these people can’t handle discouragement, and so they abandon their aspirations when they find themselves struggling. But remember, failures are simply the stepping-stones of growth and success.
Question: Have you let failures and setbacks distract you from staying on course toward your goals?
Action Item: Write down these failures and setbacks on a sheet of paper. Now tear it up and don’t look back.
6. They refuse to let scarcity driven fears hold them back.
Tim Hamilton, Founder of Astonish Designs, believes “…focusing on a world that is built on scarcity really does amplify fear. So I think it’s a battle that we all have to fight against – messages of scarcity – and forgetting to talk about what our capabilities are and all the endless possibility that exists.”
Have faith in your own ability to put out good work, as well as have an understanding of the nature of life’s abundance: success in everything can never be guaranteed, but there’s always an upside. A learning opportunity will find itself in every outcome, and that’s what successful people are looking for.
Question: What scarcity driven fears are holding you back?
Action Item: Grab coffee with a close friend and openly discuss your limiting beliefs and fears – bring the topic up and be honest. Compare and contrast the fears you both have about success, happiness, relationships, etc. And discuss how you can potentially overcome some of the thoughts that get in your way.
Photo via Visual Hunt