Every woman reading this should reflect right now on the dating patterns not only of themselves, but of their group of friends as well. Isnt it perplexing that some women have amazing luck dating, and other women are almost always rejected by the men they pursue?
Some of my female friends have virtually never been single. The moment they are, a new great guy scoops them up. They not only have zero trouble landing a man, but theyre keeping their men interested, too.
Other female friends of mine are single by choice. Theyre essentially never rejected. They date around, theyre wanted by many, and if anyones rejecting anyone, its them rejecting the men rarely the other way around.
And then theres the women who seem to get rejected. These women might not be single by choice, and if they are, its only because of their fear of rejection. Their pattern seems to be that even if they do land a man, hell lose interest quickly. Or, they cant even seem to get a man interested in them in the first place, as theyre always turned down when they attempt any sort of pursuit.
If this sounds like you, keep reading, because the solution to end this pattern of rejection might be simpler than you think. Here are 6 reasons why youre always rejected by the men youre interested in and what you can do about it:
1. Youre not giving the law of averages a chance to work its magic
In other words, youre not putting yourself out there enough not by a mile. If youve been rejected by men a bunch of times, and youve developed a fear of rejection, you might be avoiding the dating world all together.
The law of averages indicates that the more nos you experience, the closer youll get to a yes. Its the magic of probability. In other words, the more dates you go on that dont work out, or the more times youre rejected, the closer you are to finding someone that it does work out with.
If you dont put yourself out there, youll remain far away from that coveted yes. Mr. Right isnt going to come knocking on your door while youre watching on Netflix, asking you if he can borrow a cup of sugar. Nobody does that anymore. Sorry, but youll actually have to go out, meet people, swipe right and be open to dating men who might not be your typical type. Just be open and out there, stop hiding, and itll happen.
2. You have a rejection attachment
If youre used to being rejected and disregarded, you might unconsciously seek out rejection because its what youre familiar with. If youre seeking rejection without realizing it, you could have a psychological attachment to rejection.
When you identify yourself with disappointment, disapproval and rejection, you can develop whats known as a rejection attachment. Some of the women reading this article are guilty of ignoring the men who are interested in them, and instead going after the men who dont seem to be that interested. Perhaps this is proof of a rejection attachment. They know theyll likely get turned down since the men theyre pursuing arent showing any signs of approval or interest towards them, but since rejection is what they know, theyre okay with it. Theyre swimming in familiar territory, and its weirdly comfortable.
Women with a rejection attachment probably believe that they are undesirable, so they collect evidence that supports that belief. This evidence-gathering would of course include seeking out approval from those who arent willing to give them any sort of validation, and pursuing those who arent fully returning their affections.
3. Your attitude towards dating is generally quite negative
If youve had way too many horrible dating experiences to count, it can be tough to be optimistic about dating. Perhaps youve been dumped, cheated on, rejected, left for somebody better and told you werent good enough so many times that you now have a negative attitude towards dating.
The problem with not being positive is that you wont attract anything positive. You get what you give, so if youre giving off a negative attitude when it comes to all things dating related, itll be picked up on even if its subtle or subconscious.
The law of attraction rightfully suggests that any limiting beliefs towards dating or love are stopping you from attracting a mate. If you believe that youre not good enough to be adored by someone, you will never be adored by someone. If you believe that youll be rejected, youll be rejected. Anytime you catch yourself thinking these negative beliefs, make sure to challenge them, because negativity is a bad habit that needs to be broken.
4. You have low self-esteem
Ok, you probably arent expecting this, but Im about to quote Fat Bastard from the movie. You probably remember the part where he says I eat because Im unhappy . and Im unhappy because I eat. Its a vicious cycle. Well, the same goes for rejection. You have low self-esteem from being rejected and youre being rejected due to your low self-esteem. You cant let that cycle continue.
Men are not attracted to women with low self-esteem and no self-confidence. Confidence and self-love are attractive qualities, and thats the number one thing you need to work on if you want to find love. If you dont think youre a total catch, why would he think you are?
5. Youre either too needy or too independent
Nobody enjoys either extreme. Being too needy is terrible because nobody likes feeling as though youre relying on them too much. It can be overwhelming for a man to think that hes fully responsible for your happiness because you need him and rely on him so much.
However, he wants to be needed a little bit. He probably doesnt want you to be so independent that he cant even show off a little and fix a problem for you because you always want to fix it yourself. He probably doesnt want you to be so independent that you care way too little, and arent effected by anything.
6. Youre picking the wrong men
Don’t pursue a guy who has someone else in the picture. Before you pursue a guy, its best to get all the details when it comes to how single he really is. If hes not over his ex-girlfriend, hes very recently single or the woman he really wants turned him down, its best think twice about dating this guy.
Its pretty difficult to get a guy to commit to you if theres someone else hes thinking about. Make sure hes single, unattached and available in every way first. Ask around, and ask him. Straight up.
Its best to go after a guy whos available in every sense of the word. Seek men who are open to a relationship, healthy and happy. Dont pick the wrong men, and dont let them pick you.
Read more: http://thoughtcatalog.com/
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