Personal Development

Unhappy Habits Demystified Mini Course

8. They Complain About Everything

complain about everything

Complaining doesn’t change anyone’s circumstances; actions do. Unfortunately, unhappy people find it easier to complain than to find solutions to their problems. They always have something negative to say, even when everybody around them is happy.

They complain about anything and everything from their spouses, jobs, neighborhoods, appearances, to how little money they make. And their issues are always more important than yours, so don’t expect them to listen to you when you need someone to talk to.

If you’re a chronic complainer, you should realize that this habit is destroying your overall health and well being. Besides making you and the people around you unhappy, constantly complaining about everything also makes you unattractive and drives people away from you.

Also, when nothing in life is satisfying to you, the negativity you feel can increase your stress levels, making you more vulnerable to several health problems such as, headaches, diabetes, high blood pressure and depressions among others.

At the end of the day, only you can choose the kind of life you want to live. Would you rather complain about everything and jeopardize your happiness, or take the necessary steps to change your situation for the better? I strongly believe the latter is better. With that in mind, here are some ways to help you put a stop to your unending complaints, and find happiness:

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Change Your Way of Thinking

Chronic complainers tend to think negatively about every situation. If you’re one of them, it’s high time you change your thinking pattern. Instead of always focusing on the negative, try to see the good in people and situations. For instance, instead of complaining about heavy traffic on your way to work, why not be thankful that at least you have a stable job that enables you to provide for your family. There’s always a positive side to every situation; you just need to be willing to see and appreciate it.

Make A List Of The Things You’re Grateful For

When you stop for a minute to see how blessed you’re, you won’t have a reason to complain again. I’m sure there are some amazing people and great things that God has blessed you with. So, make a list of every one of them, and whenever you feel the urge to complain, read them aloud to yourself and be grateful instead.

Identify The Cause of Your Complaint And Do Something About It

Most people complain when something bad happens, but there are others who just love complaining about the sake of it. Find out what’s making you complain and, if possible, do something about it. For instance, if your current job doesn’t make you happy, consider changing jobs or even careers (even if that means going back to school) instead of complaining and doing nothing about it.

Do What Makes You Happy

All that negativity from constantly complaining is not good for you. So, why not do things that bring a smile on your face instead. This can be anything from sports, watching comedies, spending quality time with your friends and family, traveling etc. The key is to find something you truly love doing and do it regularly to increase your happiness.

Bottom line: Chronic complaining will only make your life miserable, so try to seek solutions to the problems you’re complaining about instead. In other words, be the change you want to see in the world.

Next: Lesson 9 – They Develop a Victim Mentality »

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  • Unfortunately … without realizing, some people appear to derive some satisfaction from complaining. We all know… that person that always talks about the abuses in life they continue to suffer and you just can’t move them from that focus even if you take different approaches like empathy, silent listening (sounding board), or even just trying to joke to make things lighter. They ‘love’ and seem happy complaining about something, anything. It’s a habit that’s ingrained and second nature. Personally when I catch myself complaining I try not to make it worse by beating myself up for worsening my mood by my own frustrated complaints. I’m not perfect and I try to move on by tuning out what’s bugged me. Reading, meditating, listening to music and even changing directions, if in traffic, helps. After all, situations will always change. When in a better place I’m am grateful, even for my complaining friends and family as they provide the contrast that I learn from about myself. Imho.

  • Primarily, I think that it’s because they’ve created from all those experiences, an identity of themselves as who they see themselves to be. They are terrified of loosing this identity because after all, who will they be? It’s like a program that has been written in their subconscious mind from all their collective negative experiences. For some people it takes ongoing and consistent re-conditioning of the mind, but Interestingly enough, for many others it takes a traumatic experience that breaks the programming, it shatters the old paradigm, making room for a new one.

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