Personal Development

Unhappy Habits Demystified Mini Course

10. They Rely On Others For Their Misery Or Happiness

rely on others for happiness

I’m sure you’ve already heard this before, but I will repeat it anyway – you are the only one responsible for your happiness. Unfortunately, many people depend on others for their happiness, sometimes even without knowing it.

When you find yourself being consumed by the experiences and emotions of others, it only means one thing-you’re emotionally dependent on them. Emotional dependency will pretty much guarantee unhappiness and disappointment for everyone involved.

We, humans, are social beings who are naturally wired to love and care for one another. Because of this deeply ingrained empathy, it can be difficult to be happy when your kids, parents, friends, workmates, or spouse are miserable. After all, it’s only natural to laugh when the people around you are happy and feel sad when they’re going through bad times.

However, this reliance on others is not good for you. You have to learn to find happiness within yourself, irrespective of who is in your life, or what they’re going through. This doesn’t mean you stop caring for them though. It’s more to do with finding the balance between investing in your emotional health and caring for your loved ones.

Note that you may feel guilty for focusing on your happiness first, but remind yourself that you’re doing it for the good of everyone. When you’re truly happy, you’ll be resilient, strong and best equipped to offer support to those around you than when you are not. So, don’t waste your precious time feeling guilty because it won’t help the other person, or improve the situation.

Self improvement resources online

Here’s how you can live a happier, healthier and productive life without letting the words or actions of others affect your life:

Allow Some Quality “Me Time”

Extroverts are naturally more comfortable when surrounded by others, while introverts thrive better on their own. Regardless of your personality, spending quality time by yourself from time to time, will help you unwind, discover more about yourself, and become emotionally strong and independent.

Take Control Of Your Life

Many people who have relied on others for their happiness, or to help them achieve their goals have been greatly disappointed. Constant disappointments often lead to anger, resentment, and unhappiness. Don’t make the same mistake as them. Take total control of your life, and start being responsible for both the good and bad things that happen to you.

Commit to Positivity

Make positivity your way of life by focusing only on things that make you happy. This could be singing, helping others, having a good laugh, or talking to someone. Identifying activities that bring a smile on your face, and making them a part of your life, will bring happiness to your life and make you see the world in a more positive light.

Love Yourself

Love yourself for who you are on the inside and not what others think of you. When you know, love and embrace your unique self, it will be difficult for others to bring you down no matter what they do or say to you.

Overall, changing these negative and destructive habits is a great step towards making yourself and the people around you happy. The habits of unhappy people suck as you may already know by now, so choose today to live happy irrespective of your circumstances.

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  • Unfortunately … without realizing, some people appear to derive some satisfaction from complaining. We all know… that person that always talks about the abuses in life they continue to suffer and you just can’t move them from that focus even if you take different approaches like empathy, silent listening (sounding board), or even just trying to joke to make things lighter. They ‘love’ and seem happy complaining about something, anything. It’s a habit that’s ingrained and second nature. Personally when I catch myself complaining I try not to make it worse by beating myself up for worsening my mood by my own frustrated complaints. I’m not perfect and I try to move on by tuning out what’s bugged me. Reading, meditating, listening to music and even changing directions, if in traffic, helps. After all, situations will always change. When in a better place I’m am grateful, even for my complaining friends and family as they provide the contrast that I learn from about myself. Imho.

  • Primarily, I think that it’s because they’ve created from all those experiences, an identity of themselves as who they see themselves to be. They are terrified of loosing this identity because after all, who will they be? It’s like a program that has been written in their subconscious mind from all their collective negative experiences. For some people it takes ongoing and consistent re-conditioning of the mind, but Interestingly enough, for many others it takes a traumatic experience that breaks the programming, it shatters the old paradigm, making room for a new one.

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